So I failed the ATOS assessment. Unfortunately in the interim between date of assessment and today, my pain and inflammation has increased.

Pain clinic doc and nurse today said I must reduce the stress as it is contributing to increased inflammation and pain.

How?

Nothing I can do about my daughter's situation accept to keep sending her money.

Nothing I can do about the work situation but grin and nod and work my ass off to keep managers happy.

The last 4 months I have been covering for up to 4 colleagues including my line manager when she was out on leave for 3 weeks. Last week I got reamed in supervision for not prioritising tasks effectively. Some of my work got put on hold to deal with her work while she was on leave.

Scared shitless that if I miss work because of the pain then the hubs won't be covered. If the hubs aren't covered they will shut some of them down and make some of us redundant. My absence (even though disability related) almost lost me the job in December. Who do you think they will let go first?

I need the job to buy my daughter's medicines and help pay her medical bills. More stress.

I am trapped. I just want to go home to Virginia to die now. That is all I want. I can't do this anymore.