Because I haveread posts on other forums that suggest that posting a few excerpts "for the purpose of discussion and study" is fine, (and that is the purpose of this thread) here is the first page of the TDS reworking:

A Knife In The Sand
By Anne Ching

Al-ithnayn(Day Two, Monday)

On tonight's raid I pulled my burnous around me, making sure the hood was up. The full moon shone above the dunes. It was the only way to see where we were going.
I took one hand off the reins and felt the waist of my tunic. It was red, the same colour as the cloak. The shabriya and throwing knife were there. My hand touched the handle of my father's old sword. I lifted my hand back down. The saddle felt soft under me. Asra moved into a walk, then a trot as I pressed my legs against her. No need to go any faster yet. We weren't anywhere near Fort Barracanegra.

The name suited her. She was one of the fastest horses I'd ridden since I got the burn scar. I didn't need to look at the back of my hand to see it carved into my flesh, branding me as chief of the Oulad Semet. I got it on my fourteenth birthday last year when my father died and I can still remember the heat as I put my hand up to the flame after the flint was struck. There was a spell on it to prevent the scar fading. It was red against my dark

The others' horses followed us. Their hoofbeasts thudded, kicking up sand and dust. One was heading towards me. I looked up.

Sayyid, my lieutenant, turned his horse around and rode over to me. It was a grey horse, "What do you see, Red Shadow?" Red Shadow. Not "caid". It was what the newspapers called me, and was as strange as being caid and remembering that I was Riff chieftain now. If this one succeeded, I could just see the headline. "Red Shadow" strikes again. Hunt continues for unidentified Arab rebel leader in Mauretan."
Any comments from the writers on this board?