I've been dipping in and out of this thread with some interest.

What is apparent is that there are a great many variations, from the all-in sing-song at one end to solo performance at another. These are all perfectly valid ways of enjoying music and we probably all participate in all of them to varying degrees.

Difficuties start to arise when people assume that behaviour which is acceptable, even encouraged, at one type of event is also acceptable at another. This becomes a problem when this behaviour starts to intrude on the enjoyment of others, whether they are performers or audience. Someone not joining in a sing-song may seem a bit odd, stand-offish even, but it doesn't really affect anyone else, whereas someone trying to join in where they're not wanted obviously does.

The point is that none of these behaviours is wrong in itself, it's all a question of the right context. In this, folk music is no different from any other aspect of life. We should all be concsious of our surroundings and adapt our behaviour accordingly - or at least be aware of the consequences if we do otherewise. Of course, the socially inept are found in all areas of life besides folk music.

The other thing which has become apparent is that while we have a number of terms to describe these events, how these terms is interpreted varies widely. I play in a lot of sessions, and I thought I understood pretty clearly what the term means, but it seems there are other interpretations, or at least variants. And all this is before we get to the minefield of local "house rules".

It's all very complicated and requires a level of social- and self-awareness which some people clearly lack. The obvious lesson is not to assume that your usual behaviour is the norm and will be acceptable elswhere, and when visitng a new event take time to discover what behaviour is acceptable and expected before making an idiot of yourself.