ORIGINAL 'Lionel Bart' lyrics (GRHS):

They've turned our local Palais into a bowling alley... and fings ain't wot they used to be.

There's toffs with toffee-noses, and poofs in coffee-houses, and fings ain't wot they used to beee.

There used to be fun, painting the town... doing a bit of ice.
Nowadays a brass won't go down, under a union price... not likely!

Once in golden days of Yore, a dressed up ponce killed a lazy whore...
And fings aint what they used to be!!!