What Will said. My father was an alcoholic who drank himself to death. Too many of my busking/musician friends have destroyed their lives and talent that way.
When my brother, who is gay, came out to me many years ago, he said, "The first thing is you have to admit it to yourself." That was a pretty profound statement. I reckon it is equally true for any form of predisposition or behaviour. Having the guts to recognise a problem is a good start. There are plenty of wiser heads than mine here. Please take their advice and move into a better part of your life. If you are an alcoholic, drinking has nothing good to offer you at all. Good luck.