I find that I anticipate a performance so much that I am amazed that life is still the same afterwards. For days, if not weeks, a performance date hangs over me, almost like a black cloud. I tell myself I can not get sick, I can not hurt myself, I must stay focused, etc. It's not necessarily nerves but just something looming ahead. A big thing. Then after the performance, all of life's normal problems are still there and the gig was just another moment in time to be remembered and cherished or not. My life has not changed, imagine that! When the performance is a show where the cast has bonded and will never be brought back together, the blues are that much worse.

Emily