A two by four between the eyes? That kinda thing never fails to get my attention, Amos. I normally answer it with a burst of .44 or .45 calibre ammo, though, so I don't advise it as a good approach. If you wanta get my attention in a healthy way that won't cause yer friends and relatives much grief, it is better to address me as "Mr Chongo, sir", and state yer business in a clear and respectful manner.

Then there's money. Offer me a retainer of a few thousand dollars and you've got my undivided attention.

With the Obama and Romney campaigns runnin' real scared about the increasin' role of the APP in national politics, I expect to soon be offered much larger amounts than that from major corporate players, bankers, and other crooks. I'm talking hundreds of millions of dollars, not thousands. They will try and buy my loyalty, like they already done with certain others I could mention...

But from ordinary stiffs like you, a few thousand bucks is all I expect as a retainer and an investment in a better future. Hell, even a few hundred if it's near the end of the month...

Contact yer local APP office and contribute now.

- Chongo

p.s. We don't take peanuts. Bananas or mangos are okay. Money is even better.