Some of my best gigs have been weddings, when you get one where a lot of people are up for it they can be fantastic. But you never know what to expect, and you have to be prepared for anything to happen.

My worst wedding gig had been going swimmingly until just after midnight, when for no apparent reason they turned nasty. Everyone was pissed, which might have had something to do with it.   They'd forgotten we might want paying, and no one had any cash. The best man had disappeared, and someone went off to try to find people in charge. Eventually the best man, a large rugger-bugger gone a bit to seed and several over the eight, came back with some cash, which he hurled to the floor in front of us while hurling abuse at us. We took the money and beat an orderly retreat. We escaped unscathed, and with our our money, but for a few moments we seriously thought there might be a fight.