The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #145902   Message #3376340
Posted By: JohnInKansas
14-Jul-12 - 09:08 PM
Thread Name: BS:advice wanted re: people's comments
Subject: RE: BS:advice wanted re: people's comments
It's likely that your carers are actually trying to be helpful, but it's also likely that they don't really appreciate the limitations of those of us who have "infirmities" (like disabilities from heredity, illnes, or just older (than they) age).

Depending on whether they seem likely to be "teachable," when they suggest that you should "be more active by getting out more" simply suggest that they put five marbles in each shoe and go out dancing. IF they try it, they may understand a little better, but even if they don't it's still possible that they might think about it.

Criticizing someone's cultural background is a pretty ignorant, but common, trait, especially among the marginally literate; but if they think they can criticize yours, it's obviously appropriate to (gently - maybe) voice your own comments about theirs. You could ask about their "social life" and then criticize their lack of - or excessive - "dating," or whatever else they claim to do. I would expect, however, that you might be better off "educating" them about your own background, perhaps by "telling a few tales" about some of the people worth respecting from your own background. ("I've been wondering whatever happened to ..." is a possible intro to a discussion?)

Inappropriate and unwanted "suggestions" aren't limited to those who need care, but unfortunately some "carers" do seem to feel specially privileged to be flaunt their "ignorance." The response is the same as for anyone else, to be as assertive as possible about what your interests and desires are and to object (as kindly as possible? - if possible) when the boneheads try to intrude inappropriately.