Thank you all for your help, I am unable to make sense of anything at present - is it over reaction? No, its not really knowing anything - I am in a strange area, I am going to try going with the flow.
I am at work at the moment, and have had permission to leave early - if the phone rings I have to be professional and answer it with a clear voice - I cant do that so I am leaving now. I thank you for your help and your feelings for my position. I have no one else I could have shared it with and thank you from the deepest part of me that has any substance or meaning.
love
Patrish xxxxxxxxx