Patrish, it's difficult to write this as I understand what you are going through. Eight years ago, my first wife died after a seven-year battle with brain cancer. You would think that the advance warning would make it easier to deal with when the time come, but that certainly wasn't the case for me. I was in shock and totally at sea for quite some time. I can tell you that crying will make you feel better, and the pain will eventually heal.

I feel that the pain is a raw spot in our hearts, and we wrap the good memories around that raw spot like an oyster wraps nacre around an irritating piece of sand under its shell. With time, and only you can be the judge of how much time it takes, those memories will become a pearl of memory in your heart and you will be richer for it. If you need to be with other people to help you through the pain, seek them out. If you need time alone, arrange it.

You are the one in the best position to know what you need. I am sure you will get through this hurt. We are here for you with whatever support you need. Take care.

jeffp