I had a long post mostly written yesterday and decided not to send it. Primarily because I only understand alcoholism from the outside looking in. Tobacco addiction, I understand, but I lack whatever receptors some people have that makes the effects of alcohol so pleasant. I like having a drink sometimes, but it's like eating cheesecake: a little is fine, more is too much, and I don't really care if I don't have any for a while.

There are folks who will give you advice based on their own beliefs and prejudices. Avoid them and find what will help you. For one thing, I'm an atheist and I could still find a way to use AA's 12 steps. Make things work for YOU.

Some ideas I believe are right and helpful no matter what the details of your addiction:

Don't sabotage yourself. If having booze around makes you want to drink, don't have it around. If being in situations makes you want to drink, don't go there. Same with friends you can't hang around with without drinking. I never though people could be that selfish and stupid, but I've seen it: the folks who ask if you want a drink and, when you say "no thanks" try to convince you to have one anyway. Just say "no" and lose the friends if you have to.

Later on when not drinking and saying "no" become more of a habit, you may feel more confident in such situations. For now, if you find yourself saying "I know I'm strong enough to resist," consider it's not much different from saying "HEY Y'ALL--WATCH THIS!!!" Just be careful in the beginning.

Do anything and everything that can help you stop. Support groups can help. AA, I firmly believe, can help whether you're religious or not. Don't look for excuses not to use available help. Ask your doctor. Tell friends and family and be honest with them. Lying is something addicts do as a matter of habit. Find something else to do instead of drink: no, not another drug. Take walks, go to the gym, play with the dog, write, draw, make things, anything healthy that you enjoy.

Think sober. When I quit smoking, I had this thing I repeated whenever I got an urge: "No, I don't do that anymore." From what I understand (which means "what I've been told") many addicts find "never again" too frightening, so it's "one day at a time." Shut it down for that day. Think "I'm not going to have a drink today". Then repeat as necessary.

As long as you don't give up trying to succeed, you can't fail. Many addicts (most?) don't succeed the first time we try. Most of us have to fuck up enough so we really understand what happens to make us fuck up. You may never have another drink. If you do, it's not a reason to stop trying. Being sober is a process, not an outcome. There were 20 years between the first time I quit smoking and the time I finally quit. I think it took me so long because I wasn't very motivated. I hope you're successful much quicker than I was. Just don't give up.

Finally, use whatever tactics work best for you.   I wish you the best. I won't say "good luck" because luck has nothing to do with it. I wish you strength, and wisdom, and good people in your life to be there when you need them.