THE GUILLOTINE

Once there were princesses three,
Purity, Virtue and Chastity
Purity, Chastity, Purity, Chastity, Purity...
and Virtue

But their names did not agree,
with the lusty nature of the three
Their father would not trust to luck,
in warding off a royal . . .

Fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la,
fa-la-la, fa-la, la LA

The king welded on his daughters three,
belts to insure virginity
And in each belt was placed a lock,
with-a-blade-to-chop an intruders...

Diddle-dum, diddle-dee, diddle-dum, diddle-dee,
diddle-dum, no dummy he.

Off their father went to war,
leaving Purity, Chastity, Purity, Chastity, Purity,
and Virtue . . .

Fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la,
fa-la-la, fa-la, la LA

When the king returned from war,
He summoned his knights, all seven score
And ordered all to drop their pants,
to see if each still had his lance

Sing hey, nonny, nonny,nonny. . .
no

The king could not believe his eyes,
not one knight retained his prize
Save the brave and bold Sir Nick,
the one and only knight who had his...

Derry down, derry down, derry down, derry down,
derry down, hang derry derry down

"Nick," said the King, "as you have been true,
I give my kingdom half to you.
And one daughter to be wed,
what say you, Nick?"

And Sir Nick said:

Fa-wa-wa, fa-wa-wa, fa-wa-wa, fa-wa-wa,
fa-wa-wa, fa-wa,wa WA!!!