Hey, Bobertz! You out there in cyberland? You lissenin'? Listen up good here. I am issuin' you an official challenge to wrassle me in a public wrasslin' venue! That's right, sucker. Just you and me (and the ref) mano a mano, no holds barred. I figger the Deep South is definitely the best place for this type of highbrow event. We can make a shitload of money if we promote it right. Man vs Chimp. Madman vs Mad Ape! People will eat it up. Seems to me they got a coliseum in Memphis that is real good for this sort of event...you know, the one Andy Kaufman wrassled at back when he was feudin' with Jerry Lawlor, remember? The Southwest Coliseum? We could book that place for sometime in September or October. We need a little time to build up the hype and pack in the morons and rubes by the tens of thousands.

I figger you to go as Bobertz "The Hillbilly Brawler" or somethin' like that. Dress up in farmer's old dirty blue denim overalls with suspenders and grow yer beard out long and shaggy so ya look like John Brown in a ravin' frenzy. Me, I go as "Chongo the Killer African Ape", wearin' red trunks with a white stripe and carryin' a half-peeled banana. I'll wear a cape too with the banana logo on it. I'll pound my chest, bare my fangs, and do Tarzan yells and caper around the ring like King Kong whilst you hoot and holler and guzzle moonshine.

People will really go for this bigtime. We'll get rich. We gotta choreograph the fight with the usual dirty tricks and miraculous comebacks. One of us finally wins...by blatant cheatin' of course...and the referee don't notice! Imagine that. The crowd will go totally nuts. They'll be outraged. That will easily enable us to schedule another "fight to the finish" and charge at least twice what we did for the first one. We do it all over again, lots more blatant cheatin' and dirty tactics, another blind ref who don't notice, and so it goes...we can spin this soap opera out for years!

Got any ideas you can add to this? Give me yer thoughts.

Don't ferget that we are both presidential candidates too. The promotional possibilities are incredible. We will leave Romney and Obama in the dust.

- Chongo

- Chongo