Thanks both. I think that's why I'm seeking actual trad material, not urban singer-songwriters. Something containing a moral statement that had carried over a few generations.

I'm not so sure what it means, not having experienced much myself since puberty. But I think the issue regards moral and/or mystical and/or wisdom growth, not simply learning that it hurts when you stick your hand in the fire.

Maybe I'm missing something - Tam Lyn doesn't seem to grow - he just accidentally gets caught up with the fairies, follows their rules in the meantime but would like someone to rescue him.

I think Janet always does what she wants - unwilling to give up her ring or gay mantle, she says ok, maidenhead it is; you can have that. Later, she shows some courage but she was pretty strong from the beginning, going to the woods and then telling off the old knight and her father, the king. She just follows Tam's instructions and wins her love, the father of her fetus.