No Dachshund has ever jumped out of an airplane and hurtled down through the air wearing only a parachute pack. Never! And you know why?

Because we're smart, that's why! Rolling in manure is much more fun, and robbing garbage is sublime, but skydiving is something only an idiot would do.

While I think of it, a lot of Germans in the big war had Dachshund pets and mascots, and there was one flying ace who sometimes used to take his "Teckel" up in the fighter plane (a Messerschmitt 109) with him. One day shortly after takeoff with man and dog aboard the plane was seen to be having difficulties, maneuvering in an uncontrolled manner. It crashed into the ground, unfortunately killing both the pilot and his dog! It was suspected that the dog had somehow got entangled with the controls...the cockpit of a Bf-109 was a VERY cramped place.

This proves that Dachshunds shouldn't fly. We should never be more than a few inches above the ground. Trust me.