I have the worst priest ever now. He is of Mid-European ancestry shall we say and reminds me of a severe Protestant..no offense to severe Protestants. He does not seem remotely Catholic to me. He is a religious narcissist, I am convinced, and very fascist in his approach..very personally unappealing as well. I don't have to be crazy about a priest, but I should not have to be repulsed by him basically. Plus he commandeers the Mass to his own use..he will interupt anytime and any where and give a lecture. Mass has not been pleasant for me at all since Vatican II..it strikes me also as Protestant, which I was taught not to be although my mother's family is Baptist. But Mass has gone from unpleasant to icky somehow. I am not a strong enough Catholic to withstand too much of this nonsense. As long as I have my candles and supersticians and collection plates and statues and pretty songs (which are no more) I am more or less compliant..but it is not a spiritual approach.

Don't know why I am rambling..the church is sick and needs to be not renewed, but scraped clean of cancer and rot and then think about talking about healing and renewal etc.

And almost every statement by every bishop in the last few years has struck me as abnormally stupid, especially concerning the child abuse situation. They are not only entertwined in it, they are too dumb, some of them, to see the magnitude of the problem. I hope there is a bishop reading this.

I do follow one bishop, the one in Dublin. He speaks honestly and sincerely, which shocks me so much..others could be honest and sincere but also stupid which is not so great a combo.

And that is true about leaving your ancestors. I think of mine hiding under rocks in County Kerry to hear Mass and I think the least I can do is sit through a service I don't recognize as Catholic but they tell me is.