I used to manage a Kennebunkport shop (a year-round shop, to boot) with the tourist information bureau on the back porch (overlooking the river). I used to keep one ear cocked out there to hear the stupid stuff tourists say.

And they REALLY don't understand tides. Comments about the Basin at low tide, "They sure must use a lot of water in this town." And overheard when I crossed the bridge to the Clam Shack, "Isn't it nice how they park all the boats pointed in the same direction?"

One person came into the information bureau all upset because the waves weren't high enough. Somebody should turn them up...

And more times than I care to think about, "It's low tide now. When should we come back next summer for it to be high tide?"

You can't get to heaven if you're hit by a tourist... (or a "summer complaint").

Linn