Patrish, here's the biggest hug ol' Spaw can give you and I hope it fits with all these other good thoughts from your friends here.

Two of my closest friends have died in the past few years and we are never prepared though we may think otherwise. In the case of Alan, it was quite unexpected and sudden, and because he had recently remarried, his new wife didn't tell any of his old friends. He had already been buried before I knew. I found any closure difficult at best, but one morning I sat at the table and poured two cups of coffee and we had a talk, Alan and I. We used to sit and talk over coffee every morning all those years we lived together, Alan, his first wife Katey, and myself. We bought two homes together in Chattanooga and Nashville. They were some of the best times anyone ever had. I told him how pissed I was that he died and how much I loved him. I talked over all the old times and laughed and cried for a few hours. I don't know that it helped him, but it helped me.

Then there was Denny. Denny and I had been friends for 30 years when he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He lived another three years past that time and we talked much of what was going to happen. He planned his own funeral and asked me to say a few words. The funeral drew a huge crowd and when I spoke, I spent twenty minutes and got lots of laughs, because we had had many good laughs together over the years. But I ended with something that my nephew had asked. It was a good question and since he was there, it was a good place to answer it. Ricky said to his Mom (Connie), "What's it like when your best friend dies? Uncle Pat must have a big hole in his heart now." At the end of that eulogy cum comedy monologue, I told the crowd what Rick had asked and said:

Great friends cannot leave a hole in your heart. They can only fill it with the memories of a lifetime. Maybe that's all our hearts really are.......A collection of wonderful memories and love for those we bless and who bless us with that most special status......True Friend.

Time will pass, but the memories will not. Patrish, may your heart overflow as mine has with the love of True Friends.

Spaw