Hello, Jane. I play recorders and flutes, and I have attended many workshops conducted by professionals. Here's something the instruction books don't tell you:

***Just having your fingers on the right holes doesn't guarantee that your notes will be in tune.***

No, playing a wind instrument is an act of co-operation between the instrument and your breath. You have to listen to the notes, and sometimes you have to change something withing your body you to get them right. (I think this is a largly unconscious process controlled by "the lizard brain.") If you are playing in a group, listen to the group. All you have to ask yourself is, "Does this sound good?"

I play every month with a group of friends, and one day after a workshop, I tried something radical. I told the flute players to listen to the guitar. The guitarist got nervous and protested - "Nobody's ever listened to me before!"

I explained that our guitarist is a good player with a good instrument, and it's in tune. She's the underpinning, the framework against which the rest of us play. So the flute players repeated the song, listening to the guitar and shaping their notes to harmonize, and it made a noticeable improvement. I would estimate their playing improved 15%. That's a lot.