After much in depth research, testing, field trials and analysis, I realized I had to "invent a better vacuum" (I learned that from the Dyson commercials).

Fluid and powder applications were "tedious" at best. Treating the underside of an estimated 17,567,981 tiny leaves per potted mini-petunia was a tad time consuming SOOOOO I have, being an engineer, invented a device to kill aphids which have infested potted plants.

The Aphidator 2012-1 (prototype) will, by empiricle extrapolation, work with many other pests. If I could catch that fucking squirrel that just pissed in my woodpile inSIDE MY GARAGE while I was fueling my lawnmower - the BRAZEN FURRY LITTLE RAT! - , I'd prove it.

I have a patent pending the results of the psych exam.

List of materials : one galvanized washtub; bricks as required; water.

Procedure : set plant in washtub; weight plant down with bricks; add water to cover; watch TV while little aphid bastards drown.