"Good News"

"I have good news and bad news," a defense
attorney told his client.

"First the bad news. The blood test came back,
and your DNA is an exact match with that
found at the crime scene."

"Oh, no!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"

"Your cholesterol is only 140."


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"Shingles"

A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the
receptionist asked him what he had.

He said, "I've got shingles."

So she took down his name, address, and medical
insurance number and told him to have a seat.

A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and
asked him what he had.

He said, "Shingles."

So she took down his height, weight, and a
complete medical history and told him to wait in
the examining room.

Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him
what he had.

He said, "Shingles."

So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test,
and an electrocardiogram and told him to take off
all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked
him what he had.

He said, "Shingles."

The doctor said, "Where?"

He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"