hi I found this song today as was looking it for it, and put in a line i remembered- google did the trick.

When I was at school in Fareham, in the South of England in the late 1970's this song was popular amongst my peers, but not sung- just said as a poem. I have it written down somewhere.

I dont think there is any truth in this rumour, but the gossip amongst us at school was that the brother of the boyfriend of one of the girls in our year wrote it.

I always found it crude but witty, and have remembered it over the years, hence idly searching for it today, in a web surfing spree.