Just spoke to the OP. I maybe shouldn't post this but I figure, since the OP reads this thread regularly (from what the OP posted), this post might be a reminder tomorrow sometime or whenever.

You said a lot of things to me. No matter about falling off the wagon and feeling shame or any of the other stuff. Only one thing matters and you know what it is. Don't cloud the issue with all that other stuff. Just take care of the one job that means so much to YOU. You did a lent the last time... 40 (almost?) days of feeling better... read all those posts again like you said helped you before.

Whatever. Call me... whatever happens, eh?

Good luck.

PS... There ain't no Huey Lewis drugs. >;-)