I'VE HAD 'EM ALL.
Copyright, 1890, by Harding Brothers.
Words and Music by M. J Cavanagh.

In childhood I am sure that I received my share of ills.
I've had the measles, mumps, and croup, the whooping-cough and chills;
In fact, if any new disease broke out about the town,
It always was my luck to be the first one taken down.

Chorus.
I've had them all. yes, every blessed one,
I've had 'em all, I'm thankful they are gone,
I'm sure I've had my share and a lot that I could spare.
For more I hardly care, I've had 'em all.

Perhaps among; you there are some not troubled with those pests
That uninvited in your beds will come and make their nests,
There's several different species, from the bed-bug to the flea.
But all my schemes to shake 'em fail, for they get on to me.- Chorus.

I used to be a drinking man. but quit it here of late.
To suffer with a swollen head has often been my fate;
I know what the jim-jams are, I've shivered with the shakes.
And on my bedroom walls I've seen about ten thousand snakes.-Chorus.

My first wife had three sisters when to better lands she flew,
To fill her place I married got to sister number two;
When number two had gone above with her who went before,
I took on number three, who soon made room for number four.-Chorus.


The lyrics are from

http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/songster/27-ive-had-em-all.htm