Yeah well chimpie, yer a very very very silly monkey yerself. If you ain't got no regard for dem royals, don't get involved is my advice. And yeah, dem paparazzi are the scum of the earth. They do a useless or worse job of work wot contributes nowt to the general well-being of this great nation of ours. A bit like bankers, hedge-fund managers, landlords, accountants, Wayne Rooney, Brucie effin' Forsyth, people who run aerodromes, people who build wind turbines all over Cornwall, gentleman farmers, ATOS "medical professionals", Prince Philip, any archbishop you care to name, actors in Casualty, people who make Mr Whippy, Tory press officers, Jimmy Carr and that bastard who ripped me off over my car servicing. There are loads of people in the kind of employment that you and I would regard as less than gainful.

Aw shit. Mr Whippy ain't all bad...