WHEN THE OLD MAN CAME HOME SOBER
Words and music by John Cooke, Jun^r
London: F. Pitman Hart & Co. Ltd.

1. I'll ne'er forget one night last week,
When the old man came home sober,
I was so scar'd I couldn't speak,
When the old man came home sober.
He always used to come home tight,
And then we used to feel alright,
But oh! We were upset that night,
When the old man came home sober.

CHORUS: For the dog rush'd up the chimney; the cat rush'd up a spout.
It jump'd inside the cradle first, but the baby slung it out.
My mother sought protection behind the carving knife,
When the old man came home sober for the first time in his life.

2. The parrot gave a shriek and died
When the old man came home sober.
The canary couldn't (tho' it tried)
When the old man came home sober.
The fire died out in the grate.
The clock struck two at half past eight,
Then fell and broke its dial plate
When the old man came home sober.

3. The slavey fell down in a fit,
When the old man came home sober.
Sister Mary did a quit
When the old man came home sober.
Everyone was struck with fright
And bobbies kept well out of sight
On that most eventful night,
When the old man came home sober.

4. I've not got over that night yet,
When the old man came home sober.
Indeed I never shall forget
When the old man came home sober.
But I'm glad to tell you that next day
He sent on the booze in his usual way
And I trust he'll never go astray
And once more come home sober.