Losing someone close, in time, can help you re-evaluate your own life. It may take awhile - as WyoWoman said, go ahead and let it out w/o worrying about being presentable - but in time you might look at what is important about you living now, about what things and people really matter to you, and what and who are not that important to spend much time with. It's too bad it often takes a death to shake us out of our own complacency, our tendency to take life for granted. My thoughts are with you.

-chanteyranger