Here's what I hear.

(You can also see a transcription of a 1915 version at Doctor Shelley 1915).


Mick

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DOCTOR SHELLEY
(Words and music by Edgar Bateman and Huntley Trevor)


1. In me you see a doctor who has won a great renown.
I only charge 'em thruppence cash instead of half a crown.
I cure the rats?, the whooping cough, the measles and the flu.
You can pay me by installments if you give an I.O.U.

I'm Shelley! Good old Doctor Shelley!
No matter what complaint you've got, I can cure you on the spot.
If you've got the slightest pain in your Darby Kelly,
Bring the little Marys round to me, Good old Doctor Shelley!

2. A chap named mister Jonah who was ill in bed for days,
He's got a whale bone down his neck ?throughout the servants' stays?
They tried him with emetics and and a stomach pump you see,
But nothing seemed to answer so they sent him round to me.

I'm Shelley! good old Doctor Shelley!
He said, "Oh, doctor, do be quick, or I shall go right up the stick."
I dropped the tongs right down his throat into his Dardanelly,
Turned old Jonah inside out. Good old Doctor Shelley!

3. This morn I heard the night-bell as the clock was striking two.
Standing on the steps was a big cock-a-doodle-doo.
He said, "Oh, doctor, come at once me hen's got a bad attack.
She's twisted her bazooka and she cannot get it back."

I'm Shelley! Good old Doctor Shelley!
I cured his wife in half a mo'. You should have heard that rooster crow.
Gave her boiling water in some chloroform so smelly.
Now she's laying hard-boiled eggs. Good old Doctor Shelley!

4. I had to go and see a man who couldn't eat his grub.
He'd worn his spinal column out through holding up a pub.
I had to take his backbone out and mend it with some cork.
But as his back was narrow I shoved in a slice of pork.

I'm Shelley! Good old Doctor Shelley!
Here's a testimonial: He is cured cos his old girl
Now, when he sits round the fire, crackling she can smelly,
He's got buttons up his back. Good old Doctor Shelley!

REPEAT LAST CHORUS.


Source: As sung by Harry Champion, 1914.