well folknacious I will take that as a challenge.
here is a start. Perhaps Big Al could work out a tune and others could add verses.
The Ballad of Travelling Big Al Whittle

Black guitar and big black hat
Big Al Whittle he's a man
Dreams of Iowa Skegness too
hope he gets there how about you
(refrain) With his big red sausage and his line dancing dog.
john