Patrish, you can never be prepared for the loss of someone you love, nor will you ever stop thinking about her. You must let yourself grieve but don't feel guilty about laughing and enjoying life too because I'm sure that any friend of yours would have wanted you to remember the good times and be glad that you shared them. As for crying I will don my pacamac and shed a few with you on Friday night if I can prise you away from all the other hugs. And don't forget Jean will be looking down and having a bloody good laugh at us all getting pissed!!!
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
love Jane