THE THING
Words, Charles R. Grean. Tune, “The Lincolnshire Poacher”
As recorded by Phil Harris, 1950.

While I was walkin' down the beach one bright and sunny day,
I saw a great big wooden box a-floatin' in the bay.
I pulled it in and opened it up and much to my surprise,
Ooh, I discovered a [thump, thump, thump] right before my eyes.
Ooh, I discovered a [thump, thump, thump] right before my eyes.

I picked it up and ran to town as happy as a king.
I took it to a guy I knew who'd buy most anything.
But this is what he hollered at me as I walked in his shop:
"Ooh, get out o' here with that [thump, thump, thump] before I call a cop!
Ooh, get out o' here with that [thump, thump, thump] before I call a cop!"

I turned around and got right out a-runnin' for my life,
And then I took it home with me to give it to my wife,
But this is what she hollered at me as I walked in the door:
"Ooh, get out o' here with that [thump, thump, thump] and don't come back no more!
Ooh, get out o' here with that [thump, thump, thump] and don't come back no more!"

I wandered all around the town until I chanced to meet
A hobo who was lookin' for a handout on the street.
He said he'd take most any old thing; he was a desp'rate man,
But when I showed him the [thump, thump, thump] he turned around and ran.
Oh, when I showed him the [thump, thump, thump] he turned around and ran.

I wandered on for many years a victim of my fate,
Until one day I came upon Saint Peter at the gate.
And when I tried to take it inside, he told me where to go:
"Get out o' here with that [thump, thump, thump] and take it down below!
Oh, get out o' here with that [thump, thump, thump] and take it down below!"

The moral of this story is: if you're out on the beach,
And you should see a great big box and it's within your reach,
Don't ever stop and open it up; that's my advice to you,
'Cause you'll never get rid o' the [thump, thump, thump] no matter what you do.
Oh, you'll never get rid o' the [thump, thump, thump] no matter what you do.