I found this rather strange song with Spotify.


THE LAVATORY MAN
As sung by The 14th Disciple & Freands [sic] on "14 – Fourteen" (2010)

CHORUS: Lavat'ry man—
I clean up all the tinkle.
Lavat'ry man—
I clean around the bowl.
You don't have to care if you accident'ly sprinkle.
The lavat'ry man is ready with his thing to wipe it up.

1. I use detergent 'cause I find it helps with stains.
I pour some disinfectant down the drains.
I take a pride in ev'ry piece of porcelain.
A toilet with a five-star rating—
A bowl of potpourri can cover up the stink.
The insides of my cubicles are pink.
I always leave a little bar of soap beside the sink.
You'll always find a warm seat waiting. CHORUS

2. I might look vacant but my interest's engaged.
It's more than just a way to earn my wage.
I was into toilets from a very early age.
I had a lot of toilet training.
I've grown accustomed to the things that people do.
Ev'rybody needs to have a poo.
I'm in a world of number ones and number twos.
I find a toilet entertaining. CHORUS

3. My toilet roll's amongst the softest in the land.
I never let a bad smell linger.
A fluffy little towel for when you need to wash your hands,
'Cause something's sticky on your finger—
I go to bed each evening with a toilet on my brain.
I wake up in the morning just the same.
If it wasn't for the lavat'ry I think I'd go insane.
I bet you know what I've been dreaming. CHORUS

TAG: I'd like to guarantee a satisfying stay. (Wipe it up.)
I'd like to think I help you flush your cares away. (Wipe it up.)
Sometimes it's easy to forget the simple things, (Wipe it up.)
The joy of cleaning …(?) lavat'ry brings. (Wipe it up.)
No need to pay me 'cause I do it all for fun. (Wipe it up.) FADE