Here's a song for just that problem...

I wanna have a mid life crisis
but if the truth be told
I can't have a mid life crisis
My wife says I'm too old

I wanna drive a bright red sports car
with a pretty young blond for a date
I wanna have a mid life crisis
My wife says it's too late
She said
        I coulda had a crisis at Forty
        or even at Fifty Five
        If I'd wanted a mid life crisis
        I should have done it while I'm still alive

I want a pick up truck with monster wheels
I want to be stacked up with sex appeal
I want tatoos on my arms and chest
A Harley and a black leather vest
I want to let my hair grow long
I want to get to Nashville with this song
I want a Cowboy hat and belt and boots
I want a hand tailored white silk suit

I wanna have a mid life crisis
but if the truth be told
I can't have a mid life crisis
My wife says I'm too old

I wanna drive a bright red sports car
with a pretty young blond for a date
I wanna have a mid life crisis
My wife says it's too late
She said
        I coulda had a crisis at Forty
        or even at Fifty Five
        If I'd wanted a mid life crisis
        I should have done it while I'm still alive

I wanna drive a bright red sports car
with a pretty young blond for a date

Spoken:
I don't think my wife would go for the blond
But how about a sports car?
a 59 Subeam Alpine in British Racing green