Hmmm.

Okay...I had this girlfriend back in the 1980s. We had a very active sex life for a few hectic years there, and sometimes we found a tube of transparent lubricant handy at certain moments. I would apply said lubricant to her...you know...and we would proceed, as it were. Not that this was always necessary, mind you...but sometimes...

I might mention I was also using condoms at the time...I didn't want her to possibly mess up her health with "the pill" or anything else like that, so I took care of the "protection"...and very faithfully too.

Well, anyway, one night I went to get the tube of lubricant. Lights were out. I came back, squeezed some of that stuff out of the tube, applied it to her, and we proceeded...

And she said after a moment or two, "That's strange..."

I said, "What?"

She said, "It feels really cold...."

"It feels cold????....what the...???"

I got out of bed, turned the light on, and discovered that I had mistaken a tube of Crest toothpaste for the tube of "marital aid" lubricant! (I can't remember what the stuff was officially called, but that's what its purpose was.)

Well, that was a WTF moment if ever there was one! It didn't cause her any damage, fortunately, and we subsided into helpless laughter once we got over the initial shock.

Don't do this! Always put the lights on first when reaching for a tube of anything for any purpose whatsoever. God knows what could happen if you don't. Damn good thing it was not a tube of Ben-Gay!