You have heard of 6 degrees of seperation.
Through AIDS campaigns you heard how if you had sex with one person , you had sex with every person that person had sex with.
Some sports figures claim 30,000 sex partners or more.
It is also known that more people are alive today (7.2 billion) than have ever existed at one time in history.

By mathmatically connecting these concepts with the world wide census and rendered by the Magnatar Super Computer in Wall St it has been determined...
that General Scott Allen is the first person in history to have had sex with every single person of legal F-able age on the planet Earth today.          (along with 4.378532299 billion other people)

What an F'n slut!

General where is your resignation?