We may never know the contents of the package. But as I was reading this, I recalled a song that I heard someone sing about three decades ago. Perhaps--?

THE BODY IN THE BAG
(Charles O'Hegarty)

Our old cat died last night
Me wife says to bury it out of sight
But we didn't have a garden;
We was livin' in a flat
So what was I to do with the body of a cat,
Then a big brown paper bag I spied
I put our old dead kittycat inside.
And now I'm off down the street with the body in the bag,
The body in the bag, ta ra ra.

I went off down the street to have a whisky neat
And carefully laid my dead cat underneath my seat.
Then I got down on my hands and knees;
Went halfway through the town,
When the barman stops me,
"Here's your parcel Mr. Brown."
So I had to thank the silly fool
And give him half a crown
For bringing me the body in the bag.

I threw it in the river but the hero of a play,
Well he jumped right in after,
Shouting, "Hip hip hip, hooray!"
Then he crawled out on the bank
And he stood there in a pool.
He said, "I'm really rather wet
And also rather cool."
So I had to take me trousers off
And give 'em to the fool
For bringing me the body in the bag.

Well, I crept off down the street as quiet as a mouse
An' carefully laid me burden on
The doorstep of a house,
When the door it was flung open
And a lady dressed in blue
said, "Pardonnez-moi monsieur,
But do you want a room?"
I said, "Good heavens no, an' I've got
Something else to do!"
And skeddaddled with the body in the bag.

I crept into a garden, feeling very brave,
And with a pick and shovel I commenced to dig a grave,
But I got an awful shock when a voice behind me said,
"You're digging my potatoes!"
Oh, you could've shot me dead.
But there I was a-diggin' in his cauliflower bed,
So I hit him with the body in the bag.

All at once from in the bag
There came a plaintive meow
Say Puss, "I'm dead no longer,
You needn't bother now.
You've often heard it said
That a cat has got nine lives,
Well, I'm a married Tabby,
One of Tommy's wives
And our families they usually come
In threes, and fours, and fives..."
But there were seven little bodies in the bag!

Don Firth