When I was 13, Mum went back to work. It was my job to cook after school and have a hot meal on the table when my parents got home from work.

Simple meals. But, one day, I thought... Johhny Cake and sausages would be a great surprise. Grabbed Mum's recipe box and I went to town. Smelled GREAT! Dad was actually excited and I was beaming with pride! He slathered the cake with butter and dug in.

His facial expressions went from hmmm to huh? to that's awful, whereupon he spat it onto the plate and his expression turned to that of quick Irish temper and kick in the arse time as he looked at me and asked, "What the fuck is that?"

Mum took a taste and asked me to recount my cooking She knew immediately that I had not used baking powder. Baking soda just don't do it fer Corn Bread.

There were actually two dumb moves there. Mine... and Dad's. She made him go out to get fish & chips for supper.