A couple of minor corrections:

Its:

• "Coyotes howl in the cold on my left and my right"

• My tarpaulin flaps like a pensioner's coat

• All my friends are on the pogey

  Pogey is a Canadianism for unemployment insurance. Or is it used in the UK or US as well?

  Aye aye aye, Katie...
  Willie-I-O-Ki-Ay