Ah! Another interesting bit of information about Earth culture.

"applying a turnip to the inner regions of the nether regions is said to be quite beneficial"

Fascinating! Turnips are already listed amongst our catalog of edible Earth plant products, but I had not heard previously about their therapeutic use for illnesses of the nether regions. Pretentious Prat Syndrome sounds like a painful and possibly very serious ailment.

Making note to self: must have medical lab team look into this as soon as possible and secure suitable Earth subjects for experimentation and in order to find a reliable cure for PPS. Where to look? That is the question. Perhaps in the area of Earth called the UK?