My God! Aspirin! That means his wife has headaches! And that means his sex life is lousy despite their twelve kids. Woo-Hoo! Gossip!!

Couple days ago I was sharpening knives at a friends house (it's one of my few talents). I cut myself, another talent, and asked for a band-aid. I wouldn't think of going prowling around in her medicine cabinet looking for one.

People who keep their noses out of other people's business keep their noses.