A man offered a drink to his neighbour at the pub bar. "No thanks," he said; "I only drink softs. As to alcohol: tried it once. Didn't like it."

"Oh. Cigarette?"

"No thanks. Don't smoke. Tried it once. Didn't like it."

"Oh. Well how about a coffee?"

"No thanks. Can't take caffeine. Tried it once. Didn't like it."

"Ah," [searching for conversational topic]. "I wonder, would you care for a round of   golf some time?"

"Sorry, don't play golf. Tried it once. Didn't like it.. You'll have to excuse me," he added, glancing at his watch. "Have to go. My son is expecting me."

"Your only son, I presume."

~M~