Pgs 41-43, Cleopatra's Scrapbook (1928):

41
A TRIP TO HEAVEN
She was but a simple maiden,
With red and rosy cheeks,
Who went to church on sunday,
And prayed in accents meek,
It was about the reverend father,
Who loved to see her face,
So full of sweet devotion,
Of sweetness, and of grace.
Now he sauntered home with her?
When services were or'er
He would speak to her of home,
And of the golden shore,
Then up the maiden spoke and said,
"Oh father dear," said she,
Td give the world if I ,
The golden shore could see."
"Then come to my cottage,"
The holy man did say,
"At nine this evening,
An hour or two to stay."
I will dear reverend father,
And happy will I be,
To catch a glimpse of heaven,
And hold commune with thee,
She reached the preachers, house,
As the clock was striking nine,
Ha ha he said with steady smile,
I see you are on time.
Pray step into my chamber,
Where the lights are burning low,
And I will soon be with you,
Then heavenward we will go.
He presently joined the maiden,
Then to her he kindly said,
"We soon will be with those who,
Are numbered with the dead,

43
But ere we make the jounney,
We must ourselves prepare,
And take our earthly garments off;
They no garments wear .
The maiden blushed a minute,
Then turned her head aside,
She knew that she had naught to fear,
While at the preachers side.
Kind sir she said, I know ,
That you are noble, true and just,
Just what you say I will do,
For you I deeply trust.
The pastor then took off his pants,
And other garments too,
And stood as he was born,
A noble man, tis true,
The maiden stood reluctant,
Until he to her kindly said,
Take off your hat and jacket dear,
And sit down on the bed.
She silently obeyed him,
And did as she was told,
While he with nimble fingers,
Her waistband did unfold,
He took the garments one by one,
And placed them on a chair,
Until she stood before him,
All naked, pure and fair.
Now we are as we were made,
The preacher said to her,
And surely we'll reach heaven,
If nothing does occur.
He took the maiden in his arms
And placed her on the bed,
And laid down beside her,
And this is what she said,
Oh father dear do tell me,
What is this big thing,
That is standing up so straight
And stiff and awful slim,

44 ■'
And what are these other things,
That are hanging down below,
The one is quite the larger,
Has the other ceased to grow,
That is the key to heaven child,
And you possess the lock,
It has its works and movements,
Just like an eight day clock,
He took her hand in his,
And pressed it to his lips,
Her hand was hot and burning,
Clear to the finger tips,
Then he gently put his finger,
Into her kitties nest,
And gently pressed the button,
And nature did the rest.
He felt her bosom heave,
And throb against his chest,
Her breath came quick,
She cried, "Oh let me rest."
He gently laid her on her back,
And pressed her legs full wide,
To put the key into the lock,
Full half an hour he tried,
At last he was successful,
And to the maiden cried,
Oh put your arms around my neck,
The key is at last inside.
She pressed her hot and burning lips,
Against his burning face,
And clasped her legs around his hips,
And pulled him into place,
Then he began a motion that,
With pleasure caused her pain.
Yet presently she cried,
"Again, Again, AGAIN/"1

4?-A
Tis heaven to me she cried,
It is heaven, what joy, what pain,
Pray leave the key inside the lock.
Don't take it out again.
Six times they went to heaven,
Before the night was over,
.And as the Father fell asleep.
She faintly cried for more
'The morning came, the Father,
Was repentant and afraid,
H's conscience sorely upbraided liim.
He spoke thus to the maid,
'"My dear girl, I've rained you,
My God what shall I do?
I've stolen your virginity,
And lost my honor too.
My God, my wife and children,
They must not know my shame,
My God, what a great calamity,
I've brought upon my name.
Then up spoke the maiden,
And this is what she said:
Do not run away with the idea,
That you've got my maidenhead,
You darned old fool, you are,
Thick as mud, you'h soon see,
You've only caught the dose of clap,
That your son did give to me.
When your prick is in a rag,
This to your wife pray tell,
That you took a trip to heaven,
And landed right in hell.
Let this be a lesson,
You poor old simple fool,
Don't think that, all are virgins,
Who go to Sunday School.
One woman is enough for you,
Take my advice and not try,
To fuck your congregation,
For if you do, you'll surely die.