Naemanson - it seems to me that you are overgeneralizing in your separations of lying by simplifying them into only two categories. Quick to mind is that there are little while lies that are neither malicious nor exagerations. What do you tell someone who asks a question like (and I'm only using this cliche because it's an easy example), "Does this make my butt look fat?"

But even limiting the discussion to what you brought up, you say, "And when I stray from the truth I make it very clear, in my attitude and the sound of my voice, that I am piling it higher and deeper." So I ask, when you talk to your kids about the existance of Santa, do you put on your higher-and-deeper voice?

In my opinion, to lie to a child, especially if they know you are lying, is to teach them that it is acceptable to lie. Personally, I don't find lying ever acceptable. But those are just my values. They could be wrong.