Prof. Muttely just did a shit on the carpet and invited me to spirit that bugger. (Didn't use spirits, it might bleach things, stuck to Dettol and carpet cleaner.)

The good professor does have a point though. You can shit all day and use spirits to make things tidy again. In the meantime, those of us rolling up our sleeves, holding our noses and dealing with the reality dismiss spirits and indeed spirituality as both have a habit of making thing worse, whether to your carpet or your mind.

Prof. Muttely in his reply to Goofus the other day put it quite succinctly;

Woof Woof Woof!