When I was a lad
And Guon was a pup
Over energy shells and mesons we'd stray
Just a boy and his dog
We were both full of fun
We grew up together that way

I remember the time at the old wormhole
When I would have gone beyond doubt
But Gluon was right there
To the rescue he came
He jumped in and then pulled me out

As the years fast did roll
Gluon didn't grow old
His eyes were fast glowing blue laser beams
And one day the physicist looked at me and said
I don't understand him at all.

With hands that were trembling
I picked up my positron gun
And aimed it at Gluon's virtual head
I just couldn't do it
I wanted to run
I wished they would shoot me instead

He came to my side
And looked up at me
And humped away at my leg
I yelled at the best friend that a man ever had
I cried so I scarcely could see

Gluon he has gone
Where duckdoggies go
And you never know when he'll come back
But if duckdogs have a heaven
There's one thing I know
Gluon is somewhere around.