Back in the early '70s, when the Watneys Red campaign was at its height, I was unfortunate enough to live in a part of west London which could best be described as a beer drinkers' desert. The overwhelming majority of the pubs around those parts were owned by Watneys and the few which weren't sold stuff which was equally as bad.

I was also a member of a miniscule Trotskyist sect which was one day going to sieze power in the name of the people and usher in the socialist paradise. (Thinks. (Sigh. Where did it all go wrong?))

Anyway, one day I was grousing to a group of comrades about the state of the muck which was being passed off as a product of the red revolution; I'm sure you'll remember the adverts and the phoney Russian accents. And I opined that, come the real revolution, there would be wall to wall real ale and every last drop of it would be free.

One guy who hadn't said a word up until this point, interjected with a sentence which has given me sleepless nights ever since.

He said, "Come the revolution there won't be any beer".

We asked why not and he said, "Because under socialism, the need for stimulants will disappear."

Needless to say I left the said organisation shortly afterwards and went off instead in search of the perfect pint.