Hoier lifts are great-- I've been in 'em and I've seen VERY fragile people moved around with them-- but it hurts the patient as much to get in and out of one as it does to move without it. Your local equivalent to our Area Agency on Aging can send peeps to teach best transfer techniques, and advise on mechanical helps that they may fund or partially fund.

In our area, a "lending library" of medical equipment such as walkers, wheelchairs, shower benches, hospital beds, etc. is maintained for free community use by one of the larger churches. In another approach, we got a medical-quality electric lift recliner via FreeCycle, that has been a true Godsend since my surgery. I slept in it for 3 months. (Some go as flat as a bed but let the patient get up without twisting their legs over the side.)

The best book I have seen untangling levels of care is under $3 used, at Amazon: Stages of Senior Care: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Making the Best Decisions (Paul Hogan). We used this not only to inform ourselves but to help make communication with medical peeps and other family members less.... personal. ;~)

As a caregiver, keep in mind that today's health system depends upon wearing out the caregiver (and the caregiver's resources) before they will help. This means that a professional can and should certify what respite help you need. Somewhere in the fine print, it says that they cannot REQUIRE family to do a damn thing. What they can and DO do is just delay services till they see what the family will pony up out of love and desperation.

A physician's prescription for an Occupational Therapy Home Evaluation, however, can cut thru a LOT of BS and red tape. And these little documents can make the case for non-Medicare-funded things that you may be able to get, thru other helping agencies (or FreeCycle).

The whole system is predicated on the reality that no adult child or spouse will ever feel like they have done "enough." That means that the only curb on your own burnout is YOU. YOU (i.e. any caregiver) need to plan for others to help, support, take over, etc., and you may need to adjust some personal values to allow for this so that you CAN be there for her, for the long haul.

Keep an eye out for the friendly LPNs and RNs. They will be your best allies in the insanity of the system.

~Susan