BOG STANDARD SIGNS
Nigel Parsons (2013): ttto Abdul the Bulbul Amir

There are forms of embarrassment some of us know
That use of good signage prevents
It is worth finding out (for when you have to go)
Local symbols for 'Ladies' and 'Gents'.

If you get it wrong you could be loaded with guilt
Let's sort out the symbols to start.
That one symbol shows you a skirt, not a kilt.
(And) It's the man with his legs wide apart!

Laborat'ry symbols are really quite heinous,
A circle with add-on up front.
The one with an arrow resembles a penis,
The other, is rather more 'blunt'!

In the Netherlands Dames (da-mez) & Herren you'll find
And you may wonder 'what's in a name?'
But confusion should be the last thing on your mind.
For 'Dames' you simply read 'Dame'.

In Australia the toilets are there for your use;
And you'll need them if drinking their beer.
If the door to the 'dunny' says 'Sheila' or 'Bruce'
Then I take it the meaning is clear.

Now if after all this you end in the wrong room
Please don't get red in the face
Pretend you're a cleaner by grabbing a broom
Or swagger like you own the place.

There are forms of embarrassment some of us know
That use of good signage prevents
It is worth finding out (for when you have to go)
Local symbols for 'Ladies' and 'Gents'.