Well I survived the holiday and that is not an understatement. I have a long story to tell and I want to answer specific points in the discussion to date so I will break this post into two segments. This one will answer points and the other will tell a rather tragic story. It involves a death in the family (a pet) and what you tell the 6 year old girl who has just lost her dog.

Homeless asked:
"But even limiting the discussion to what you brought up, you say, "And when I stray from the truth I make it very clear, in my attitude and the sound of my voice, that I am piling it higher and deeper." So I ask, when you talk to your kids about the existance of Santa, do you put on your higher-and-deeper voice?"

Actually my technique with these important questions is to turn it back on the child. I don't know any more than s/he does so we explore the question together. We look at the literature, movies, and music and try to figure out what Santa is and does. We all recognize the guy in the stores as a "helper" but make no guesses about the reality of the old gent. My kids have never asked about either the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy.

mousethief Date: 22-Nov-00 - 04:50 PM
You are right when you say you have to give a straight question an honest answer. I too would give a straight answer if asked straightforward about the reality of a myth. But I think when the kid asks that question then s/he is ready to hear the truth. My kids never asked the question that way. There came a time when they just announced that there was no Santa. And even that had to be drawn out.

We perpetuate the myth for our own gratification. It keeps us believing that the kids are not actually growing up and away from us.

mousethief Date: 22-Nov-00 - 05:14 PM
"…I believe God is real…" But yours is only one opinion. It is the majority opinion in our little bit of culture of our little bit of the world but it is only opinion. Even the question of God is subject to different interpretations. To a fundamentalist he may be an omniscient father figure in flowing robes and a white beard. To a more modern radical type s/he may be more of an idea and spirit with one's heart. Which interpretation do you give a child? Of course, you give your own.

"Kids learn to distinguish between fiction and nonfiction at a very early age. "real" and "pretend" are an important part of the 1st grade vocabulary…" This is one of the grand adventures of youth. My 6 year old niece is having some trouble with this. She has invested a lot of worry in the fact that Darth Vader is a dad but is also evil. And we have invested a lot of effort in trying to make her see the difference between that fiction and the fact of her own father and the rest of the fathers in the family.

Spaw, your tale of your father was great. I'd say mine is a little like him. And so am I in a way. Once upon a time, when they had learned the purple cow rhyme, I served purple milk at supper. They still remember that.

Guest mentioned hearing sleigh bells. That was part of my own youth. I remember waking on Christmas in the early morning hearing bells. It is a valued part of my personal history.

Amergin, your picture of Mousethief was not funny… well OK, it was a little funny but not fair. He is only standing up for what he believes and participating in a serious discussion… oh never mind, he can defend himself and it was funny too. Sorry Alex.